How Did You Know

It doesn't matter, does it?
How often I sit here and wonder
and just gaze into endless white
highlighted by the hues of my imagination
You're the most beautiful thing in my life
the most beautiful thing ever created

But

it doesn't matter, I see
how often I wonder if you're alright
how I need to know if you're safe, protected

How

I screwed up
and lost everything beautiful in the world
because I was too scared to tell you
that you deserved better than me

Please,

Don't you ever think I'm beautiful
don't you ever think I could make you happy
I can't, I can't even muster the courage to talk to you
and tell you "I'm sorry"...

I loved you, y'know

But I know it's better this way
because my heart dwells in so many other places
filling voids and spaces you've both left
and I'm empty handed
living on his kisses
When I could've had both of you

If

I'd just had the courage
to tell you that "I'm sorry".